What Would I Say?

...if I had the opportunity to have a conversation with him? So much has happened since he left us.


I can guess that it would start with a long embrace. He would still smell like Polo cologne, and he wouldn't seem as tall now. He would be wearing church clothes, white button up shirt... black pants. He would still have fantastic hair, and his big glasses that fit him so perfectly. I would make sure he had a Diet Dr. Pepper. :) He would call me Rachy and it would feel like he never left.


I would start by expressing my undying gratitude. Gratitude for all the things he taught me. Gratitude for him always quizzing us on the way to school or church of scriptures we should memorize. Gratitude for his devotion to the church, his wife and his children.


I would go on saying that there were some rough times with some of the kids, myself included... but we made it through- and much of that was due to the foundation laid by him and Mom. I would say that all 6 children are endowed, and 5 are married in the temple for time and all eternity. 1 is currently on a mission, and 3 others have previously served missions. I would say that there was a moment when all 6 children and Mom were in the temple together. That even though he wasn't physically there, we felt him.


I'd tell him about my fabulous husband, and how I wish he could have asked for my hand in marriage. I'd say that I wish we could have had a Daddy-Daughter dance at my reception, but then again- I know all his girls wish that.


I would talk to him about how he has 5 grandchildren... and the number is growing fast! Since we don't have children yet, there isn't much to say about that- except I hope that they have some of his physical attributes. I know that they will know much of their grandfather, even though they won't meet him in this life.


I would mention that he probably never realized the impact he'd make on everyone he met. People still talk about him fondly- and his memory has not faded in the slightest. He touched many people.


I'd also pick his brain. What kind-of music did you listen to? Who did you date in High School? College? What was it like playing in the Utah Symphony? Why did you stop playing String Bass? Did you have any dreams as a young man that you never got the chance to fulfill? I want to know everything I didn't think to ask at age 11.


After our conversation, we'd probably laugh and say that he was everywhere I wished he could have been... just not physically.


In this life, we're not sure of why things happen. We're not sure why loved ones have to go when they do. Why did he have to leave when we were so young? I'm not sure we'll ever know that answer until we too pass on. But I do know that the reunion will be sweet and is much anticipated.


I love you, Dad. Thinking of you much- especially during the holidays. ♥