I want to believe.

Quite possibly the greatest show ever made. Alex and I are on a "X-Files" binge... we watch at least an episode a night. If you don't have a weak stomach, had a sibling abducted by aliens, enjoy sexual tension between characters, and you hate the government--this might be the show for you.

:)

It's already September. I've been a little grumpy lately because Alex and I haven't really had much time to see eachother. We both work at the same time, and he goes to night school Mon-Wed. On Thursdays, I work til 8:00..and occasionally we work a Saturday. It's extremely frustrating. I keep trying to tell myself that it's just for a moment... but I can't help but get angry. We're very selfish... we want time together. I guess such is life. Eventually we'll have baby Terans, and that will lessen our time together even more-so. Maybe I should stop being a baby. But in all honesty, I probably won't. Hmph.

On Sunday, I got to play Scrabble for a little bit... which is a much-coveted game in my family. I loved it, even though there were children screaming and Mr. Bean on full blast in the background. Must do it again! If you ever want to have a Scrabble night, please-- call us. We're interested. :)

My new love.

If you know me, then you know that I am a self-improvement book fanatic. Anything that motivates me to think more positively, lose weight, build confidence, learn new money skills, or whatever else that could ultimately change my life for the better... I love.

My fantastic sister and brother in law lent me this book yesterday. I've barely begun it and I already have fallen in love. If you know of any good motivational or self-improvement books, please give me a recommendation. I'm interested!

I am excited about this book in particular because we're moving out September 12th. Yes, you read correctly. :) On Saturday, after going to my friend's endowment session (which was amazing, btw) we decided to just look around at apartments with no intention of leaving this soon. The first place we went turned out to be just what we needed and the price was affordable. The Lord truly blessed us. I'm not an easy person to deal with, I'm very impatient.. so I'm grateful that this opportunity to start a new chapter in our lives is knocking at our door. We want to be financially stable for our future kids. Hopefully we can read, sacrifice, and take to heart what this book has to offer.

I'm so ready to leap into the unknown.

Alex: "I can't wait for our first Christmas together in our little apartment."
This is why I love the man, he thinks like I do. ;)

Planssss.

This week will be a good one. I have decided that myself. :) Life IS 10% what happens to you, and 90% attitude. I've really been trying to wake up and know that the day will be good. It's hard, mind you... but makes a real difference when I'm successful.

A co-worker of mine is getting married next Tuesday, and endowed this Saturday. Alex and I are lucky enough to be able to attend both. I'm so excited for them! They're so happy. This is their engagement picture, cute huh? It has not been an easy road for them being engaged... lots of contention and stress, but they've kept pushing forward. I'm very glad that I never had any big hurdles to jump while being engaged. I did seem to have a lot of health problems though, which cost us a lot of money, which probably didn't ease Alex's mind to much. "What am I doing... I'm going to have a sickly wife!" :) But it seemed after we got married, I haven't had problems since. Funny how that works. ;)

We've been debating back and forth on where our money is going and what we're wanting to do. We're currently living free of rent (which has been incredibly helpful), and have been paying down a lot of unnecessary debts with the extra money. Alex is going to school this semester, and we're wanting to move out.. so we will need all the money we can get. I've been dying to go to school... but it seems that I haven't really had the opportunity. Hopefully by next semester I can start going and eventually get a degree. It's really important to me that I start and finish college. We're just going to have to really watch what we spend from here on out.

There are so many huge decisions that await in our future. When to have kids, what Alex should major in, what jobs to have, where to live. It's all very overwhelming, but inevitable.

Attitude....attitude....attitude. :)

Want to lose some weight, fast?!

Get the flu.

Throw up every 30 minutes all night. 

Wake up, and you're good to go.

It has not been a good weekend thus far. 

I love

Having days off.

Yesterday was so nice. I had the whole day off to do whatever I want. And I did just that!

I got up, showered and got ready for the day. Relaxed a bit and picked up my husband from work to have lunch together. I went home, read a little bit, and then went to work out. Lately, I've been pretty adamant about wanting to cook for Alex, but since we're not in our own place yet-- I haven't really had opportunity. That's one the things I'm most excited for... to "be a little housewife". :) BUT, after I got home for working out, I was able to make a meal for Alex. I set up our own little candlelit dinner downstairs, and had everything ready by the time he came home.

It felt so good to do that for him. I remember being little and watching my mom cook all these big dinners that were ALWAYS amazing, and thinking, "I hope I can cook like her when I grow up!" Who knows if I'll actually BE as good as her, but one can hope. Practice makes perfect... and he DID make many noises like 'Mmm!' and 'Ohh!' while eating... so I think that's a pretty good inclination that I received some brownie points. :)

My life at this point is fantastic. Even with all the ups and downs that daily life brings, I wouldn't change one thing about where I'm at right now. I'm extremely blessed.

Happy Birthday

To a wonderful mother who has shown me exactly what I want to become.

This is a candid shot of my mom at my wedding... but I think it describes her perfectly. This is how you'll usually see my mother. Laughing and being incredibly personable.

My mom has taught me more than I even realize. Growing up, until my dad got sick, she was a stay at home mom. Raising 6 kids and doing it all beautifully. She'd sit on the bench waiting as we got off the school bus. There would always be some sort of dessert awaiting as well. :)

She taught us kindness, and not expecting anything in return. She came up with an anonymous way to let families in the ward, or anyone else, that they were loved. She'd spend the day cooking lots of cookies, cakes and brownies, arrange them on a plate, and have us deliver them. We'd promptly ring the doorbell, and run away. Never did anyone find out who was doing it, and that was one of the greatest things I've ever been apart of.

She taught us how to be married and happy. Her and my dad were passionately in love, and because of that, we felt loved. They put eachother first, never criticized eachother, and did their best to raise us in a loving, happy environment. They did a better job than I'm sure they ever thought they would.

And the biggest thing she has taught me was when you get an answer to prayer.. have faith, and do it. There have been a million experiences-- big and small-- that she has taken chances and moved forward, running only on faith and an answer to prayer. This is such a strength to me. I know if I get an answer to prayer, she'll support me 100%. She knows how important it is.

Another reason? She has made Alex feel like he IS apart of our family. Not just an inlaw- a son. So many nights when Alex and I were dating we'd all sit around and talk in her apartment eating pizza. We'd talk for hours about absolutely anything. Memories, goals, trials, weaknesses, strengths, the Gospel... and she was interested in every word we said. She was always excited to see him, and loves him... as he loves her. She was excited for us to get married, and excited for our future. Now that I'm married, nothing has changed. In fact, she has supported me now more than ever.

I love my mom. I love her for having the courage and faith to join the church. I love her for raising us with love and teaching us about the Gospel. I love how she rarely missed church, and taught us that it's important to be active. I love how she gave us all the opportunity to be ourselves, and make our own decisions. I love how I know no matter what, I can call my mother and feel comforted in any trial I am facing.

Thanks, Mom. For always being there for me, and for being exactly who I want to emulate.

Decisions, yay!

Well. It seems that my life has been dark and dreary over these past few weeks, but in all reality, it hasn't. I have just chosen to write about the sad things I was going through, as opposed to the good things. :) So, everything is going great right now with Alex and I.

We've (I think..) made the decision to stay here in UT until Alex finishes school. We talked it over today, and we both feel that it's best for us. We had to come to a decision of not going off what our families may want, but what we want. And ultimately, this is what we came up with. As hard as it is to know that I probably won't live in Oklahoma ever again, unless a miracle happens, I know that this is right. All I need to do is focus on what is best for our little family. It isn't necessarily "set in stone" yet, BUT we're going to pray about it over the next few days- fit in a temple date- and see how we feel. I have a good feeling about staying here though... our lives seem to always be up in the air. Good thing I'm extremely impulsive and love change!

Lately, we've been on a pretty regimented work out plan- which has made both of us feel 110% better about ourselves and our situation. It seems that everytime I'm stressed about something, or feeling overwhelmed, the two best things to do are go to the temple or workout. We've been doing both, so we're good to go. Alex says that since we've quit Dr. Pepper (our love...) and workout almost every day, he hopes to look like this:

We'll see what we can do ;)

Sad news.

Death is a weird subject for me.

I've known a few people who have passed away. There was, of course, my dad... which is the hardest obstacle I've ever had to experience. My great grandma, but I was always kind-of scared of her, and didn't know her too well. A boy from the ward I grew up in died from a illness since birth at age 20. He was a year older than me.

And I've just found out that a very close friend I had in high school committed suicide a couple weeks ago.

This is difficult for me because 1. I was extremely close with him, and 2. It was suicide. How do you take such sad news? I mean.. all I wish right now is that I could have been there.. said something.. been of some comfort to him in some way to help him re-think his decision. We were great friends from 8th grade to 10th, until I moved to Stillwater. But even then, everytime I'd visit, I'd see him around and catch up on old times. He dated my best friend, Courtney, all through that time... so we spent every waking moment together, the three of us.

It literally makes me sick to think of him so lonely and depressed to feel he had no way out. I know he had a hard life- but he seemed to be a genuinely happy person most of the time. Sure, he'd get down on life every so often... but what angst-filled teenager doesn't?

I sat in bed last night thinking about it... and I can hardly keep back the tears when I ponder on how incredibly blessed I am! My family has been through tough times and many trials, but we all stuck together and have great relationships with one another. I have an incredibly romantic, wonderful, caring husband who puts me first in everything he does. I have great in-laws who are generous and accepting. He didn't have that.

I guess all I can do at this point is pray for him, pray for those left behind, and give thanks for the life I've had.

Yesterday...

Or rather, the past two days have been very emotional and depressing. Therefore, I will make this post brighter than the last. We can't focus on the hard and difficult all the time, can we?

I really think the trials and negative feelings over the past week have been to strengthen us. All we've really been doing is thinking of ourselves rather than what God wants. We absolutely hated fighting and disagreeing. So tonight we are going to the temple to receive some peace and tranquility. After stressing nonstop for the past 48 hours, all we want to do is feel the spirit and be with eachother. We're not going to constantly focus on, "What are we going to do?!" but more "Let's pray, research, decide and ask if it's right."

SO.. who knows! Wherever we go, we know we'll be alright because we have eachother. Did I mention that my husband is amazing???? I'm sure that I say that every day, but get used to it because I'll probably say it every day from here on out. I'm very lucky!

I can't believe it's already August. This year sure has flown by and has been quite an exciting year. I'm married, my sister is married. I'm living in Utah, I'm working and I'm happy. Everything has happened so fast and the ride has definitely been worthwhile.

I know it's not too exciting to read my blog because I don't have cute quotes from my children or exciting new spectacles, but it is my life, and I'm okay with that. :)