I've had bad hair and I cannot lie..

you otha' brothas can't deny.
Oh short hair... sometimes I miss you so. But I must keep pressing forward and grow you out.

I have had many, many interesting hairstyles in my short 20 years of life. The list includes:

1. The supposed to be "Meg Ryan" accident haircut. (My sister, Heather, always experimented her haircutting ways on her life mannequin... me. I remember like it was yesterday her saying, "Oh, I'm doing the Meg Ryan look." No, it definitely did NOT turn out as such.)

2. 8th grade accident haircut. (People referred to me as "texas flat-top" and if you didn't know me, you'd think I was a lesbian. THANKFULLY there are no pictures to show ANYONE from this time period... except it was the day before picture day, so if you somehow get your hands on my 8th grade yearbook, you'll find me... short hair and all.)

3. Accident jet black hair. (I meant to dye it dark brown, but instead it went to black. I decided to make a statement and keep it for a while, but looking back at old pictures- I stand ashamed.)

4. Orange "Vitamin C" accident hairdo. (In my attempt to getting rid of the black hair, I bleached it 3 times. It turned bright bright orange *as you can vividly see in the last picture*. Again, against my better judgement, I decided to stick with it for a while to make yet another statement. And once again, I stand ashamed.)

5. Permed, fried "Vitamin C" accident hair. (Yes, you read correctly. After not touching it for a while, I decided to perm it. How a perm got into my head as a 'good idea' is beyond me. I had HUGE hair, and there was no possible way to tame it. It resolved in me chopping it off SHORT, but actually cute this time. I'll always be in debt to that hairstylist..... The above picture doesn't truly show how bad it was, but my hair is breathing it's final breaths as I smile so cutely in that high school hallway..)

The last time I had long hair was in 2nd grade, therefore, I'm giving it another shot. I must admit, going to the hairstylist still scares me a little bit. But with that history, do you blame me?

ANOTHER Birthday!!

Well. I know that I've been having a lot of birthday dedications.. but I don't care. :) This is a particularly important birthday because it belongs to my dear father who passed away in 1999.

(Handsome, isn't he?) There is so much to say about my dad. I truly believe that I was blessed with THE most amazing parents in the world. My dad was someone I always looked up to because I never heard anyone speak ill of him. He was well loved by everyone, and touched so many people's hearts with his generosity, kindness, dedication to the Gospel, love and sense of humor.

Since he passed away when I was only 10, sometimes it's hard to remember certain things about him. But there are other stories and traits that I'll keep with me always. The way he smelt, the way his face felt, the sound of his voice, and the way he looked in his sunday clothes.

During church, he'd let us crawl all over him.. play with his tie, hair, wedding ring, glasses... and all the while- he'd listen intently to the speaker. After Sacrament, he'd be a mess, but he wouldn't ever complain. He rarely complained about anything, actually. When his health was getting worse, he never slowed down. I never heard him say, "Why me?" He just took his trials and kept going.

He taught us the importance of being musical. I remember my sisters would sing harmony and I couldn't WAIT til I was old enough to learn. He and my mother were in a quartet with a couple from the ward, and they'd often put on shows during ward socials. So many times they'd all practice in the living room- and I would just sit and watch. He also wrote wonderful poetry. I often read them and it feels like he is still here.

He was 15 years older than my mom, so he was 50 years old when I was born. Many might say that having an old parent would be hard because he probably couldn't be as active with his children. I wouldn't change it. He was a true gentleman, and he was raised in a different time period with different values. Plus, it allowed me to realize that love knows no age. :) It is a bit mind-boggling to know he'd be turning 70 today.

It feels like only yesterday that we got that phone call saying they had found a heart for him. He was on the heart transplant list for years, and the chances were slim. But on that day, none of us thought about the chance he might not make it home. It wasn't an option. Before he left, he hugged us each individually and said, "Whatever happens, I'll always love you." After many surgeries and late nights, he passed away.

I have this journal I wrote in quite often during that time.. and I wrote "Today my dad died. I am going to miss him so much. I loved the smell of his cologne and the way he'd always hug me." It was a hard, dark time-- but knowing that I'll see him again one day brings tears to my eyes. He is amazing man. I miss ya, Dad. :)

Attention:

Alex has shaved his beard. He has had it since January, so this is quite the change.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Cuttte!

Alas

Finally, I am able to put some pictures of our cute little apartment. NOTICE: Pictures truly don't do it justice. It's just the right size and we love it.

This is our dining room... yes, I know, it's a card table. Did I mention we were poor newlyweds? :) Note: There is supposed to be a piano underneath that picture on the wall of the man on the piano, we just haven't found the time or strength the move it yet.

Note: Our bedroom isn't that exciting.. but don't you just love our bed?! Yes, yes you do.

In Memory

I couldn't sit here any longer and not pay tribute to those who died on this tragic day.

I'll never forget that day. I was in 8th grade, and every teacher was watching the news. At first, I thought it was just a horrific accident, but after the second plane hit, I couldn't believe what I saw. I recall my history teacher saying, "You all are apart of history. This is a tragic, memorable day. Never forget what happened today." I couldn't even fathom someone being so... heartless. It breaks my heart.

Now more than ever, I appreciate our country. The first couple of years after the attack, we had a great deal of patriotism in our country, but as time goes on- people forget. They don't remember how our freedom was challenged, and that many people died in the process.

We live in a society of great freedoms. We can believe what we want, worship where or how we want, have careers, families... we have opportunity. It's so much more than we realize, and we all need to open our eyes. What an incredible country we live in! I am so proud to be an American, and I hope that I continue to stay patriotic until the day I die. I will not take the freedoms I have for granted.

I love this country, and I will forever be grateful to those men who made freedom possible.

God Bless America.

S.O.S.

We're poor, starving, broke, madly in love newlyweds.

The other night, we both were hungry and realized our options for food were limited. We searched around, and when we came to an idea- we'd soon realize that we were missing one, two, or all of the needed ingredients for the recipe... and no money to purchase them. As we started to panic, we decided to swallow our pride and call his parents to ask if they would feed us. They did, and all was well.

Moving is quite the expense. (Especially if you don't have much money to start with.) It's almost funny how low on money we are. (We laugh to keep from crying......) Just last night- we wanted a drink, so we put all of change together and found that we had a whopping $1.83 in dimes, nickels, and pennies. It was a sad moment.

Good thing we get paid on Monday... then we can start living again and saving. We've learned our lesson, I'd say. At least we're still madly in love. :)

Birthdays Smurfdays.

This month, there has been 2 very important birthdays thus far. I thought I'd give a dedication to my brother and sister, because they are my brother and sister, and because I love them. :)

JILL:
Jill is the oldest sibling of us all.. and I think you'd know that as soon as you talked with her. :) She has a very "mother-like" presence with her, and I think that's how she has always been. I am 10 years younger than her, so for a while there, we were very close and I was ALWAYS jealous of the things she got to do and I didn't. (That was my typical mentality for a very long time...) She always wanted to hang out with me though, so it made me feel somewhat "cool".
There are many things I admire about Jill. Her ridiculous ability to forgive is astonishing. I have never met nor will meet anyone who forgives as Jill does. She's been through many hardships, and had difficult dealings with people- but I never hear her speak ill of anyone.

Another thing is when I lived with her and Tyler for a couple years, I learned a lot about the inner workings in their relationship. I bet you're waiting for some juicy gossip, but honestly? They are the most generous, thoughtful, caring, forgiving people you'll ever know. In every aspect of their lives, they try to improve. They constantly talked about the Gospel, and how they can incorporate it into everything they do. I admit, at that juncture in my life, I wasn't too interested in doing that. But now more than ever I am grateful for it.

Jill is a full-time missionary. She didn't get the opportunity to go on a mission, but that hasn't stopped her for being a missionary. I can't tell you how many times she'd go grocery shopping, and come back saying, "I met this lady in the bread isle. She said she was interested in learning more about the Gospel! She's coming over for dinner tomorrow night." I always stood astonished.

Last, but not limited to, she has a knack for welcoming people. If there is a new person in the ward, she'll go up to them- invite them for dinner- and make an honest effort to build a friendship. If she is your visiting teacher, she will visit you... (And lucky you, she will likely cook for you too. I say lucky, because her cooking abilities are endless. She also has a "knack" for baking treats. She learns this from our mother.)
Jill, you are my inspiration.

I'M NOT DONE YET! I have a brother, too. Remember?

EVAN:
Evan and I.. well.. we used to have a stressed relationship. To put it delicately, we despised eachother growing up. Simply because I was so easy to annoy, and annoying came so easily to him. We fought all the time... but then he went on a mission, I did some growing up, and now I would say that we are very close.

Evan is a big teddy bear. He takes his friendships and relationships to heart, and will do ANYTHING for a friend. I've witnessed many times friends that confide in him. They talk to him, trust him, love him. You know that he'll be there if you need him, and he will give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it.

I also look up to him because he's always been dedicated to the Gospel. His testimony has never faltered, and I love to hear about his mission experiences. He lights up when he talks about the people he taught, and it lights up everyone in the room. His memory is intact as well. I think he gets this from our father, who's memory was unbeatable. There are things that all of us forget about our childhood, or scriptures that Dad taught us, and he remembers them without effort. It dumbfounds us all.

I look at Evan with the mentality of, "If you hurt Evan, you hurt me." Anything bad that happens to him, I feel just as hard--if not harder! Sometimes I think that it's harder for me to go through Evan's trials than Evan himself! Many nights I've cried because someone has hurt him. He would never do anything to hurt anyone, so.... don't hurt him. :) (And one more thing... he and Alex have a great relationship, and I'm very thankful for that. He really made an effort to get to know Alex, and their friendship is intact because of it.)

Geez, I've got a great family, huh?

Stand a Little Taller

"Don't fear. Just live right."

-Neal A. Maxwell

My heart is full as I write this today. Last night, Alex and I had a talk about making Christ a priority into our daily lives. It was something that we've been lacking lately. It's not as if we've been doing anything bad, we just haven't been doing anything to help build eachother up. Being fast Sunday, we decided to fast for the strength to do what's right, and to find ways to bring Christ into our daily lives.

When we returned home from church, we watched "Special Witnesses of Christ." Many, many times I had chills run down my spine as I heard these amazing men bear their solid testimonies. Everytime I hear Eyring speak, I tend to get teary eyed along with him. It was such a moving experience for the both of us... and much needed. Interesting how you don't realize you're lacking something until you finally experience it. My testimony has been fed and I hadn't realized I was hungering.

I love the Gospel. There have been times in my life where I was lost. I've always known it was true, deep down, but something was holding me under water. Everytime I'd come up for air, another thing would pull me down. At the time, I thought I was just weak... but as I've gotten older, I've realized that Satan has been preying on my weaknesses and triumphed. Not anymore.

I want to change how I've been living. I tend to judge others easily. Gossiping and backbiting seem second nature at times. Negativity seems to be a habit I can't get away from. Faith has been hard to find in times of trouble. Prayer hasn't been my first priority. I'm here to say that I don't want to be that person anymore. I've always taken the easy way out-- and I've only now come to find that there is no "easy way". It's going to require a change of heart, sacrifice, sweat and tears... but not without reward. One of my mother's favorite quotes was, "Don't fear, just live right." And that is what I intend to do. This is one of the wonderful things about the Gospel. Always room for improvement. I definitely can't complain about that. :)

Out on our own.

Well, after ups and downs- getting our hopes up and then changing our minds- we made it "out on our own." It's an awesome, scary, nerve-wrecking feeling... but we're both extremely excited. Our apartment is so cute and I hope you all come and visit it. It's tiny, mind you, but just what we need.

I love my husband because he has the same mind as I do. We both are very anal about everything matching.... everything. All of our dishes, pots, pans, furniture, even our microwave matches everything else. We had a lot of fun decorating. I wanted to wait until everything was organized before I took pictures... so in the next couple days you will be seeing it. :) Understand that the pictures don't do it justice. We love it!!

Interesting how when you are growing up, you feel so safe because your parents are there. You have this mindset of, "My parents are here. Nothing bad can happen because mommy and daddy are in the next room." Now that we're "on our own" I feel incredibly vulnerable when Alex isn't there. He has night school Mon-Wed, and so I'm at the apartment by myself. Of course, every noise is extremely apparent to me, and it freaks me out. Nothing is better than Alex walking through the door... big sigh of relief. (And he's just so darned good looking.) :)

More to come in the future, ladies and gentlemen. More to come.

MOVED IN

and loving it.

Pictures of our cute apartment soon.......