Alas.

"None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives." -Kathleen Norris

This post isn't going to specific, and may not make sense to anyone else but me... but I'm okay with that. It is my blog after all. :)

I've been having ups and downs with a certain situation over the past few month or so. It's difficult because it so directly affects Alex and I. It seems like a win-lose situation. One of us wins, the other sacrifices. If situation is reversed, it's the same. Making life-altering decisions are difficult enough single... now that we're both trying to decide what to do- it's twice as hard.

I have lived a life of selfishness. I've always seemed to "get what I want" in relationships of the past... and only cared about me. This is the only relationship I've had where I genuinely care about the other person more than myself. I love Alex more than I could convey in words. I've learned much from my wise mother. She has taught me to appreciate and love your husband with all your heart. Do things to make him happier, put him first. If you're a feminist- then you may disagree with that statement. But I will live each day for Alex, and go to bed hoping that I've made his day just a little bit better.

So, even though I have selfish wants.. I've got to put those aside for the interest of my husband. I know what he wants deep down, and I don't want him to be upset or hurt in any way. I would willingly put my wants and desires second for him.

Alas, another adventure begins. Our life continues on as it is now.. but with a different future ahead. One that we have no idea what will happen, but I guess that is how life turns out, huh?

One thing I've learned about life is it keeps going. It never stops, and it's very short.

My wonderful husband.

"Where there is love there is life"

It's not my husband's birthday and it's not our anniversary. I just wanted to brag on him. Every day I realize that I love him more and more. He's truly my best friend. I love Alex for many reasons, but these are only a few:

1. I'm always cold, and he never complains whenever it's probably burning up because I turn off the fan or air conditioner.

2. He'll drive my car to work sometimes and let me drive his so I can drive in an air conditioned car. (Mine is broken.)

3. He is VERY affectionate and is never afraid to hold my hand or kiss me in public.

4. He makes sure that we kiss before I leave the house.... or any room. :)

5. He has an amazing memory, and never forgets how certain things make me feel or what hurts my feelings.

6. He likes doing things with me like shopping for house decor or cooking.

7. He's clean. He hates a cluttered room, and it has definitely rubbed off on me.


8. He's always interested in what I'm saying, and I can tell he genuinely cares about what I think.

9. Whenever I'm sick, I tend to over-react and act like the whole world is coming to an end. And he still treats me like a queen until I feel better.

10. He loves sitting at home watching movies with me :)

11. He tells me he loves me about 25 times a day, and I could hear it 25 more times and never get sick of it.

12. He laughs at all my jokes. (This is a big deal.)

13. He's just the greatest guy I've ever known, and I can't believe how lucky I am.

Ahh, to be home.

HOLA! Yeah, I picked up some espanol while I was in Mexico.

It was a blast. Going there definitely helped me start my workout program... climbing huge pyramids and ruins every day sure gets you ready. (Whether you wanted to get ready or not.)

It's so nice to be back though. So many little things we take for granted.

Oh America, how I've missed thee...

July 4

"Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better." -Albert Camus

Interesting.

I didn't think I'd actually enjoy writing in a blog. I really didn't think people cared to know about what my feelings were about a certain subject or how my day went. Not that they actually do now that I blog.. but it gives me comfort that there IS a chance. And we can't forget it also give me something to do while I'm working, aka doing nothing. So I will continue to blog. You will read it, and might I add-- enjoy it thoroughly.

Yesterday was July 4th, my first away from home (sigh). No, actually it was a great day. Alex and I ran some errands in the early afternoon. (A pearl in my ring was loose, so we had to leave it with the jeweler to have it fixed.) But then I felt naked without a wedding ring on, so we bought a cheap one from Claires... the inevitably turned my finger green. We then drove to his sisters house to eat and visit... and later we watched fireworks. July 4th is my favorite holiday. The food, fireworks, good spirit... we are very blessed to live in the country we do.

Alex's wonderfully talented older sister, Marlene, was able to give us some pictures of this historic event.

This isn't our child, however, he looks like he's very excited to be in our pretend family photo.

The Temple

Alex and I went to the temple after work yesterday. It's a whole new experience being able to go through the temple whenever I want-- especially with a husband! It was one of the most spiritual experiences I've ever had. The first time I went through was great, but now that I understand it a bit better, I can actually sit and focus on the spirit. Also, looking over and seeing Alex there was emotional in itself. I had the sobering thought of, "What if I had actually married someone who wasn't a member?" I was close, and it depresses me to even think about it.

Another great thing about the temple (among many) is the conversation it brings between me and Alex. We are so motivated church wise. We want to go to the temple once a week and read our scriptures and pray every night and convert everyone we come in contact with! I guess that is why they tell you to go often.

On tuesday, we're leaving to Mexico for two weeks. I've never been anywhere, so I'm pretty excited about it. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of money to go anywhere exciting. Going to the IHOP was a big deal....! One thing I am not looking forward to is the plane ride. I got air sick a couple times going to Oklahoma, and those were only hour or so long flights. I'll have to stock up on dramamine before I go. Wouldn't be very enjoyable if I were throwing up the entire time....

Family

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven." John Bowring

Well, on Monday we came back from Oklahoma. We both had an amazing time with family, and we were very reluctant to leave. Everytime I go back to Oklahoma I just think... "I'm home." I never realized how much I loved OK until I moved away. I didn't know how Alex would like it, but he felt the same as I did. He felt a different spirit about it.

It was fun showing him all the places that I made so many memories in. It's a big help when I talk about people and places, and him having an image of what I'm talking about. It makes a huge difference.

I'm so grateful for the family I have. I've come to realize in the past week that I take for granted the relationship we have. All the siblings are close and love eachother. We enjoy eachothers company. We enjoy talking for hours about anything that comes to mind. We love eachother and like eachother. I've found that not many families are functional. Growing up, I assumed that every family was just like mine. That definitely is not the case.

Be grateful for the family you have. If you have a bad relationship with a family member, mend it. If you are in a quarrel with a parent, forgive and move on. When it comes down to it, they will always be there for you. They're worth swallowing your pride and re-building burned bridges.

I am a lucky girl.