I've had bad hair and I cannot lie..

you otha' brothas can't deny.
Oh short hair... sometimes I miss you so. But I must keep pressing forward and grow you out.

I have had many, many interesting hairstyles in my short 20 years of life. The list includes:

1. The supposed to be "Meg Ryan" accident haircut. (My sister, Heather, always experimented her haircutting ways on her life mannequin... me. I remember like it was yesterday her saying, "Oh, I'm doing the Meg Ryan look." No, it definitely did NOT turn out as such.)

2. 8th grade accident haircut. (People referred to me as "texas flat-top" and if you didn't know me, you'd think I was a lesbian. THANKFULLY there are no pictures to show ANYONE from this time period... except it was the day before picture day, so if you somehow get your hands on my 8th grade yearbook, you'll find me... short hair and all.)

3. Accident jet black hair. (I meant to dye it dark brown, but instead it went to black. I decided to make a statement and keep it for a while, but looking back at old pictures- I stand ashamed.)

4. Orange "Vitamin C" accident hairdo. (In my attempt to getting rid of the black hair, I bleached it 3 times. It turned bright bright orange *as you can vividly see in the last picture*. Again, against my better judgement, I decided to stick with it for a while to make yet another statement. And once again, I stand ashamed.)

5. Permed, fried "Vitamin C" accident hair. (Yes, you read correctly. After not touching it for a while, I decided to perm it. How a perm got into my head as a 'good idea' is beyond me. I had HUGE hair, and there was no possible way to tame it. It resolved in me chopping it off SHORT, but actually cute this time. I'll always be in debt to that hairstylist..... The above picture doesn't truly show how bad it was, but my hair is breathing it's final breaths as I smile so cutely in that high school hallway..)

The last time I had long hair was in 2nd grade, therefore, I'm giving it another shot. I must admit, going to the hairstylist still scares me a little bit. But with that history, do you blame me?

In Memory

I couldn't sit here any longer and not pay tribute to those who died on this tragic day.

I'll never forget that day. I was in 8th grade, and every teacher was watching the news. At first, I thought it was just a horrific accident, but after the second plane hit, I couldn't believe what I saw. I recall my history teacher saying, "You all are apart of history. This is a tragic, memorable day. Never forget what happened today." I couldn't even fathom someone being so... heartless. It breaks my heart.

Now more than ever, I appreciate our country. The first couple of years after the attack, we had a great deal of patriotism in our country, but as time goes on- people forget. They don't remember how our freedom was challenged, and that many people died in the process.

We live in a society of great freedoms. We can believe what we want, worship where or how we want, have careers, families... we have opportunity. It's so much more than we realize, and we all need to open our eyes. What an incredible country we live in! I am so proud to be an American, and I hope that I continue to stay patriotic until the day I die. I will not take the freedoms I have for granted.

I love this country, and I will forever be grateful to those men who made freedom possible.

God Bless America.

Going Home

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." -Nelson Mandela

That quote really speaks to me as I prepare to go home for a visit this weekend. I feel I have grown so much since moving to Utah. Back in Oklahoma, I felt as if I were lost. I wasn't happy with my current lifestyle, I wasn't happy with who I was or what I was doing. I was ultimately heading nowhere.

Whenever my mom asked me to move to Utah with her, I immediately broke down in tears. I knew that this is what the Lord wanted. Whether or not I felt I was strong enough to leave, is a different story. Could I really leave this routine life that I've had for the past 5 years, off and on? Could I truly give everything up that I thought made me "happy"? I had to think about it for a day, but I knew in my heart that it was necessary if I wanted to finally change my life for the better. Interesting how the Lord works... I planned on going to Utah for a couple months, get my act together, then move back to Oklahoma "a new woman" with a fresh outlook. Obviously He didn't feel I was ready, so he put Alex in my life.

At first, he was merely a co-worker, and I didn't realize that he would change my life forever. But as we started dating, he did just that. Funny, I thought that I could control my feelings for him and move back with no problem. As is evident, it did not happen that way. I couldn't control my feelings, I fell for him. It was the best decision of my life.

So now, I am about to go back to the place that I feel mixed emotions about. I love Oklahoma for the fact that I grew up there. My Dad was there. My childhood was there. Some of my best memories growing up are there. But then there is the dark side of it, where everything went horribly awry. This is the first time I've actually started over, and I'm not looking back. I guess I'm nervous because, as history recalls, mistakes have happened time and time again. Thankfully, I have Alex with me for support now. I will not fall back into my old habits. It's a simple as that.

Parents have a huge impact on the way we live our lives. If I weren't raised by the best people I know... I wouldn't have made it through the hard times. I would not be where I am right now.

I didn't have my Dad for long, but for the length I had him was long enough to learn. Everytime I did something I knew was wrong, I'd think of him, and what he'd say if he were alive. Luckily, I was a Daddy's girl, so it has extra impact... he must have known what he was doing. As for my mom, she is the strongest woman I know. She has been through every trial you can imagine, yet nothing has made her testimony falter. She is beautiful, talented, and never fails to let her children to know they are loved and cared for. She is my role model, and always will be.

Yeah, I'd say I have it pretty good.