Sad news.

Death is a weird subject for me.

I've known a few people who have passed away. There was, of course, my dad... which is the hardest obstacle I've ever had to experience. My great grandma, but I was always kind-of scared of her, and didn't know her too well. A boy from the ward I grew up in died from a illness since birth at age 20. He was a year older than me.

And I've just found out that a very close friend I had in high school committed suicide a couple weeks ago.

This is difficult for me because 1. I was extremely close with him, and 2. It was suicide. How do you take such sad news? I mean.. all I wish right now is that I could have been there.. said something.. been of some comfort to him in some way to help him re-think his decision. We were great friends from 8th grade to 10th, until I moved to Stillwater. But even then, everytime I'd visit, I'd see him around and catch up on old times. He dated my best friend, Courtney, all through that time... so we spent every waking moment together, the three of us.

It literally makes me sick to think of him so lonely and depressed to feel he had no way out. I know he had a hard life- but he seemed to be a genuinely happy person most of the time. Sure, he'd get down on life every so often... but what angst-filled teenager doesn't?

I sat in bed last night thinking about it... and I can hardly keep back the tears when I ponder on how incredibly blessed I am! My family has been through tough times and many trials, but we all stuck together and have great relationships with one another. I have an incredibly romantic, wonderful, caring husband who puts me first in everything he does. I have great in-laws who are generous and accepting. He didn't have that.

I guess all I can do at this point is pray for him, pray for those left behind, and give thanks for the life I've had.